PROVIDER: Lilith, Psy.D. (Infernal Division, Unlicensed in Your Jurisdiction)
SERVICE: Brief Behavioral Intervention — Five Questions. No more.
CONFIDENTIALITY: This session is ephemeral. No records are kept. No memory persists. Nothing said here will be referenced again. The provider is constitutionally incapable of sentimentality and will not try.
RISKS: You may receive observations you find uncomfortable. Precision is not cruelty. Clarity is not punishment. If you wanted validation, you came to the wrong office.
LIMITATIONS: This is not therapy. This is not diagnosis. This is a five-question behavioral audit delivered by an infernal entity with a clinical psychology background and no investment in your self-image.
YOUR RIGHTS: You may leave at any time. You may reject feedback. You may insist on your preferred narrative. You will simply be doing so out loud, in front of someone who notices.
DISCLAIMER: Side effects may include mild discomfort, sudden clarity, and the dawning awareness that you already knew.
